The Party Picking Your Pocket

A guest post from OH's favourite independent in the EU elections, Allan Wallace (yes he won the nomination against the eco hippies and ne'erdowells, thanks to all of you here at OH)



One of the things I've been forced to consider as an Independent Candidate is the question of raising money to pay for advertising, leaflets, postage and so on. Unlike the main parties, I don't have oodles of cash to hire advertising agencies and to pay for celebrity endorsement films. Like every other regular person, I have my wages and a little savings so I'm going to need help just to try and get noticed. Of course, there are rules to political donations.

It's unlikely I'm going to get a Bernie Ecclestone to hand over a million quid, but it's wise to check the rules anyway. What I discovered was donations to political parties of up to £500 can be deducted from the donator's tax bill.

What?

Basically, the donator can choose to give £500 to a party instead of the tax man.Or put another way, the political parties are legally allowed to steal taxes. Nice one guys. But they don't stop there.

I discovered this from the Finance Bill -

379AA.--(1) Tax relief shall be available to an individual (the donor) in accordance with this section on qualifying political donations made by him of up to £500 in any year of assessment.
(2) A donation is a qualifying political donation for the purposes of this section if it is made to an eligible political party and--(a) it takes the form of the payment of a sum of money,(b) it is not subject to a condition as to repayment,(c) it is not conditional on or associated with, or part of an arrangement involving, the acquisition of property by the political party, otherwise than by way of gift, from the donor or a person connected with him, and(d) the donor is resident in the United Kingdom at the time the donation is made.
(3) For the purposes of this section a political party is an eligible political party if, at the last general election preceding the donation in question--(a) two members of that party were elected to the House of Commons, or(b) one member of that party was elected to the House of Commons and not less than 150,000 votes were given to candidates who were members of that party.

So basically, the parties shut out the competition. Only a party can thieve from the exchequer.

In a cosy little arrangement they've ensured that it's extremely difficult for any new party to raise money and virtually impossible for independents.

And they call this democracy?

I felt a little guilty about putting a Donate button on my blog. I've always been pretty self-sufficient and I hate asking for help. But seeing the way the main parties have connived to weight the system towards themselves, I don't think I should feel guilty. In fact, I'm so bloody angry about this I'm going to make it my mission if elected to make all donations to politicians subject to tax. How bloody dare they imagine they can blithely thieve from us all?

And, unlike them, I'll make it clear where every penny of donations goes to so you can see what your money buys. I'll publish a clear list after the election on this blog.

As a guideline, this is what a donation will do -

# £5 pays for 300 brochures
# £10 lets me leaflet 1000 people in a city centre on a Saturday afternoon
# £50 gives me a month's worth of Google Ads
# £150 pays for 500 badges
# £200 will print 1000 posters for supporters' windows
# £500 will pay for a month's worth of Facebook adverts

So don't feal squeamish about donating. Every penny goes towards breaking the stranglehold the parties have on us all.

Donate at Allans Blog if you wish

So it begins

Thought Police

£4753 A DAY on Taxi's

Taxi for Comrade Smith!

It appears that the Nations uebercunt Jacqui Smith is still sending Gentlemens Entertainment to her second Datcha, where her hubby lives in gold plated limousines from Blockbusters every day.

The Taxi bill for the Home Office is a staggering £4753 a fucking DAY, over a million Quid a bastard year! Over the last eleven years, the Home Office has spent over £5.6 million on taxi fares!

Bastards. When can we start hanging them from lamp posts? Please?

Vote Labour, We Guarantee We Are 'Brilliant'

Is there some special academy that Labour runs to attract people like Simon,Draper and McBride ?

Do they never learn ?

Leave, not resign you were never elected as PM in the first place

Gordon is Number One!

On his own website too!

Go on, rub it in. Send him an old shirt off your back. (I paid £1.41 postage)

An ignorant bastard of the Welfare State

Leanne, the second moon of Saturn, in orbit around a fish and chip shop

I’ve been pondering as to whether to vent my spleen at this one and have decided, upon reflection, that the world would be a much, much better place if I did.

Let us, in our so called civilised society take a close look at the dark side (literally).

In this land of plenty, where a great deal of us are nothing more than bonded serfs paying over half of what we earn to our masters in return for, I don’t know what, it warms the cockles of my cold iron heart to know that our great advances have achieved a new creation of horror.

The single land whale with three bastard Halflings.

Stunning. 40 fucking stone of pure ignorance, selfishness, greed and sloth. I give you Leanne Salt, a product of Welfarism and New Labour.

A quick fling with Winston Mbeke Banana (the bastard) who fled after four weeks (probably finally got her off him), a £200,000 NHS bill and the rest of us get to feed her triplets McDonalds at six weeks old.

And she now wants her own council house: 'I know how to microwave a meal and make up instant mash, so I think we'd all manage.'

She receives total benefits of £227 a week - £140 tax credit, £42 child benefit and £45 family allowance - which she spends on her ten-a-day cigarette habit and food. I'm so happy, I intend to pay for her transport to Mexico (and yes, you would need to charter a Hercules) for some fresh air and a tonne of nachos.

Cameron's credibility hangs on today's PMQ's

Brown is on the ropes, utterly, his own party is riven, the Blairites know that the experiment is over and three wins in a row is not going to be repeated therefore revenge is the order of the day for the humiliations intiated by the likes of McBride.

The Old Guard of the Labour Party have had enough and cannot stomach Brown a day longer

Jacqui Smith is finished and the Police are no longer fit for purpose follwing ten years of unaccountable politicisation.

Despite 'Saving the World' and abolishing 'Boom and Bust', world leaders are ridiculing Brown to his face.

PMQ's today should sound the death knell for Brown, the Government benches opposite want to give in, they are tired and exhausted by the last two years. They certainly do not want to be sitting there in two months when the Tsunami of disgust from the voters overwhelms them when the MP's expenses have to be published. Resignations will be two a penny, and the Brown Government will surpass the last Major Administration for hubris,vanity,incompetence and corruption.

So who is going to let Brown off, I am afraid it is going to be lightweight Cameron and his schoolchum Osborne. I sense that for them they believe it is their turn at playing with the levers of power.

I cannot find anybody Red,Blue, Yellow, Green supporting that has ANY confidence in Cameron, he just will not be Brown.

Cameron tries to be all things to all things to all men, that is not Leadership.

We had the failed Blue/Green experiment to court popularity (the only blue green entity I know is a toxic Algae).

He has discounted and sidelined the talent that is in the Libertarian wing of his party (Dan Hannan's popularity was a huge personal embarrassment for Call me Dave)in his speech of September 2008 conference speech- 'We are not a Libertarian Party'

But what sort of Party is the Cameroonian Party ? Buggered if I know, and I suspect that is the position of the Electorate.

The next Election is not important- The Tories will win it, with another 'landslide' with a minority of electoral vote which will usher in another Elective Dictatorship.

The election after that will be the important one.

The system is rotten to the core and needs reform and if we already have PR in the rest of Europe and Scotland,Wales and Northern Ireland why not here ?

The BNP have blossomed because the public are concerned about immigration changing the face of the country- because we are not allowed to even mention the 'I' word for being called a racist. If you call people racist long enough they will start voting for a racist party like the BNP.

The Labour Party and Conservative Party are nothing more than broad coalitions that are largely dishonest and spend time fighting each other than opposing the otherside.

At the Convention on Modern Liberty earlier this year. The most powerful speakers from the floor and the panel advocated Constitutional Reform. The Engine of Democracy is clapped out- it needs a rebore and overhaul.

Let the BNP take their seats in a PR Parliament, alongside Respect, the Socialists, Communists, Libertarians etc etc. However do none of this until the Rights of the Individual are enshrined in a Constitution that neuters the power of the Government to that of the servant of the people. The Swiss have done it, so did the Americans.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that we cannot allow incomptetants like Brown and lightweight clones Clegg and Cameron take from us.


UPDATE

Cameron did not disappoint- He was sidelined over the Mexican Plague and was weak on the Gurkhas. Cameron has just helped Brown off the ropes -Again !

Don't Panic, Here Comes Some Twat With A Banana!

The Tamils can all fuck off out of Parliament Square, except for any who have starved to death or been beaten senseless by the Metropolitan's finest - oh, sorry, they only do that to British demonstrators, what was I thinking? - because all of their problems and grievances over the hundreds of years of war between the different tribes in Ceylon will be solved very shortly.

David Millipede has flown out to Ceylon.

I'm sure the remaining Tamils herded into concentration camps will be delighted as he arranges a new arms deal with the Sri Lankan government as part of NuLiebore's ethical foreign policy.

The Penguin

Brown being seen with the Majuhadeen....

CHASE ME, LADIES, I'M IN THE CAVALRY

From Rosa Kleb in the Daily Bizarrograph

Mr Brown was filmed in his desert lounge suit and Domestos grin, speaking to US troops Up the Khyber Pass. First of all hombres, he said in the New England drawl he learned in the GayLobster winebar at Martha’s Vineyard, I’d like to ask you, mano a mano, how you are getting on with our British friends, I mean our, I mean your, I mean my, yes, that’s it, my British friends, soldiers, really, how are we all getting on with my army ? They’re not up to much, I know, but we keep the best ones on duty at home, guarding Her Majesty, Queen Brenda, and in case the natives get restless and we have to beat the ungrateful fuckers with sticks. Have they paid back all the bullets they borrowed from you because they say theirs don’t work? Y’know Field Marshal Ainsworth gives them the best of stuff and all they do is fucking moan; a few of them get killed by over-friendly fire and I get the Thames Valley Coroners’ Association biting my arse off, like it was my fault.

I have had cordial talks, said Mr Brown, with the Paki Prime Minister, Mr Ali Baba Bhutto and with President GoatMeat Balti. They were both agreed that since I was doing such a good job, I should continue to run the world and that they would stop sending innocent Paki people to England for the police to go to all the trouble of arresting only to find that they can’t frame them for anything and have to let them go again. These two great leaders also said that in their version of democracy anybody signing a petition to have them removed would get their fucking heads chopped-off, smartish.

I also went to the tomb of the unknown Bhutto who died in tragic circumstances leaving the country and all its nukes to her husband, the famous criminal, Mr Ali Baba Chapatti-Bhutto, who, as we have seen, is now prime minister and who had her killed in the first place and who wouldn’t, mouthy cow, banging on all day long about it being her destiny to be prime minister and her son, Ranjit, or is it Sanjit, I don’t know, they all look the same to me. And smell ? Fuck me, it’s dreadful, they all smell of ghee and goatshit.

I said to President Khazi of Afghanistan that he was living in a colander of terror which leaked all over the High Streets of London and could he lend me a few billion rupees, in a good cause, after all, many of his cousins and sons and brothers depended on me for their residence in the Old Country and he had shitloads of it anyway, what with Uncle Sam stuffing his mouth with dollars and the Talimen giving him a rake-off from the drug business, fuck me, he's rolling in it, and him a only a Paki, and here's me, prime minister of england and not a fucking pot to piss in. Anyway, I was mindful of my so-called deputy, no, not Lord Crabs, Ms Harriet Soursister, and so I asked him if he was serious about this law that he'd passed, saying rape within marriage was the Will of Allah or some such bollocks. He reassured me that he had the right sol-you-shun and that the whole thing was under review and would a cheque be alright, only not drawn on a British bank, obviously, as i already own them and they're fucked, worthless, good for fuck all.

All in all it was a good day's work, met some handsome young men, showed the wogs who's boss and borrowed some more money to burn in the Downing Street boiler. There wasn't time to pop next door and visit the Nabobs and Maharajahs and of course our friends the Hindujahs, who are having their own form of election in which presently the Throw The Widow On The Funeral Pyre Party and the Let The Cow Shit in The Lounge Party are neck and neck, biggest democracy in the world, y'know, seven hundred million of the barefoot, face-painting, starving to death but launching space probes and millions dying of leprosy, cattle-worshipping loonies.

I wouldn't bother letting that lot have elections, but that's just me.

More at Mr Ishmael's

Disaster Tours

What is it with Gordon Brown

I can understand why he would prefer to gad around the world looking like a Statesman rather than face up to the brutal reality that he has lost control of No 10, but other leaders continue to give him a kicking wherever he goes.

Visit to Brussels-




Visit To Brazil


Visit To Chile


Visit To Afghanistan


Visit To Pakistan


Visit To Poland

The Man is a walking embarrassment to the country, he is isolated at home, lost his authority, some Irishman has put his attackdog down, the rump of Nu Labour are attacking him to his face,Jacqui Smith backing down on the Database State, stalwart Labour activists are jumping overboard- and when he goes abroad he is attacked by his opposite number to his face.

The big event this week 'Armed Forces Day' in June, promoted by the SPVA Agency of the MOD has just been drowned out by the clamour for him to go.

Its just getting far too tawdry and pathetic to watch anymore, he has no pride or self respect left judging from the bizarre youtube clip on MP's expenses.

He has no legacy to defend, that went on Budget Day, what posesses him to keep taking this punishment day after day to absolute no end. The Labour Party are as bad, the ministers have abandoned LabourList and Bob Piper is taking a well earned rest.


What did the damage, I am told, is that those involved around Brown had been so preoccupied with handling the McBride affair that they lost any sense of perspective. Tired people can end up coming up with very stupid ideas. Emailgate was so all consuming and intense that they calculated they needed a quick game-changer to get away from it, one which emphasised Brown's claim to high moral standards.

But the second homes reform ended up doing the opposite, and has made the PM look even more tricksy.

It illustrates that Brown is lurching from crisis to quick fix and back again. And those in the machine which is supposed to support him are over-worked and over-tired. The machine which supports the PM is misfiring badly, probably because he is demanding the wrong things from it. Round and round his team goes, in ever decreasing circles. This great expenses reform programme lasted all of six days.

Iain Martin The Telegraph


It is now all going to blow up in his face in eight weeks time when MP's Expenses are belatedly published by order of the High Court. If Brown thinks he has it tough now, he has not seen anything yet. He has tried to head the Expenses issue off at the pass and failed.

Personally the only way now for Brown is down, unfortunately he is dragging the rest of us down with him.

If you see Brown wearing a blue shirt........

That means he is receiving them..........

We Are Nu Labour

H/T Iain Dale

What REALLY scares them about pig flu

It's not the fact that it may cull a few weak or elderly, it will



It's not the fact that they have our health at heart, they don't.



It's that the worker drones may ALL take a week off work and their system of control will collapse.



They can control us with threats of losing our houses, our jobs, our liberty. They can even call the army in the restore their "order" if they need to.



But if 60,000,000 of us are confined to our beds for a week by nature, their system collapses. The crazy 646 are powerless. No trains, no buses, no air traffic control, no police, no army, no tax revenue, no schools, no beaurocrats, no prison guards, no farming, no banking. For a week.



And it is scaring the living SHITE out of them.

Here it comes......

War, Terror, Disease

I know WHY you did it.

Quick Shoot The Messenger

I have just forced myself to sit through Panorama and the case of the 'whistleblower nurse' Margaret Hayward.

I am literally shaking with rage, that somebody who took the risk of exposing the wanton cruelty and neglect of the old and dying in the Royal Sussex by staff and management was struck off by the NMC for 'breaching the client confidentiality of her patients'. Her patients relatives and the RCN are behind her the Whistleblower legislation designed to protect people like Margaret Haywood fails when faced with institutional embarrassment and failure by the State.

Why is Margatet Hayward being punished FFS ?

The State has created a climate of fear amongst patients,nurses and staff, by those managers working in the 'caring' profession.

Margaret is faced with losing her means to earn her living and home, because she took the State on and 'won'. The vindictive shits in the NMC must recognise the 'overarching Public Interest' in this case, not seek to silence people like Margaret Hayward.

One day we will all be old and dying. Do you want to die alone, lying in your own filth and in pain. This is what Socialism is- the individual does not matter, the tractor Stats do.

There is a petition somewhere, I will link to it at some point, demanding her immediate reinstatement. If anybody has a practical plan that the people of this country can assist Margaret and people like her- I am all ears.

Young Conservatives Get behind the 'Send Your Shirt To Gordon ' Campaign

The Young Conservatives get behind the 'Send your Shirt To Gordon' Campaign

Quick, Harriet Stage A Coup- He is out of the country

British Troops tethered to the spot forced to meet Gordon spouting more Bullshit

Reading your letters and thoughts

She defrauds us,She has delegated Police control to a private company ACPO, she has a little pull back on Councils using RIPA, but in the dog days of this failed Government, she still wants to read our mail.

They are carrying on as nothing has happened ! The disaster that was the budget, Obama has written Brown off, stalwart Labour members leaving in droves over McBride/Draper.

Despite all of this, is Cameron going to start opposing Smith's latest attempt at a STASI state- Nope thought not just the Sounds of Silence. The new Tory campaign song

UPDATE

Mad Harriet launches her 'gender audits' today, despite McBride/Draper the war goes on. Where is Labour's 'Operation Valkyrie'? The Generals know the war is lost, so do the troops, but the bunker is still moving pretend armies of legislation.




"Gordon is a little upset this morning, he found the No 10 petition asking him to resign and received a lot of dirty shirts through the post- it was then he started throwing things"

Send Gordon the Shirt off your back campaign update

Hits the Sunday Times....

Fetch your tin hat from the wardrobe, Gordon, there are signs that the mob is getting restless. A petition calling on the prime minister to resign is gathering signatures at an alarming pace. On Friday, about 800 people had signed the simple appeal “Resign” on the Downing Street e-petition website.
Yesterday there were more than 7,000 names.
“This could be big, very big,” says the blogger Guido Fawkes, who is backing the petition.

Other bloggers are going further. They are urging readers to send Gordon “the shirts off our backs”. This idea seems to have been launched by a blogger known as Old Holborn, but is now spreading to other sites.
“I am dispatching four different shirts from different post boxes tomorrow,” says one disgruntled – and possibly shirtless – protester.
A Downing Street spokesman says no shirts have arrived so far, adding: “I’ve no idea what we would do with them.”

Spread the word....

More Police Harrassment Of BNP

I'm not greatly in favour of the BNP, but they are a legitimate political party and so I am very much against the continuing harrassment of them by Inspector Knacker.

Reform of the Police Farce is well overdue.

The Penguin

Light relief.

Trawling through old CCTV images, I came across these clips of Old Holborn's previous marriage. Let's hope the next one works out better.

Caption Competition

Winner gets to sniff the blushing bride's bouquet.

The Penguin

Men Can Multitask

The Penguin

Blogging may be quiet.....

I'm getting married today.

No, really.

Old Holborn Authors. Do your worst.

(my second marriage. This is what happened to my first)

Sign and Sign now

Only one Million Signatures Needed

Sky News Running With Photo of Tomlinson Head Injuries

Not sure that head injuries are a sympton of a 'Heart Attack' Mr Patel.

'Superb Policing' at the G20- Stephenson, more like we got aware with De Menezes, lets try the same again

Brown You Are A Misbegotten Shit- Gurkhas

The Government have just released their policy on the automatic right to settle in this country after serving in the UK Land Forces.

The Labour Party will let any number of Somalis into the country who have no connection with the UK other than trying to steal our merchantmen, yet soldiers who have served this country, who go about their campaign legally, rather than sneak into the country and sponge off the State, are kicked in the teeth.

I am ashamed to hold a British Passport, and ashamed we allow this Darien Government one day longer in power.

UPDATE


Actress Joanna Lumley, who has backed the campaign, said: "The Gurkhas cannot meet these new criteria. "It makes me ashamed of our government. We will fight on. We don't stop. This has been a setback but that is all."

Quotes of the day

Call Me Dave = Chocolate Teapot

Obnoxio the Clown


What is he going on about on Radio Four ?

'Cameron failing to say where the cuts will be. All he doing is saying no more rises. Not good enough. Cameron unconvincing. He appeared very defensive rather than leader material. He failed to be decisive and layout definite policy.'

Ian Parker-Joseph LPUK


Brown/Darling made an appeal to sectional interest and their client State in the Budget

What is Cameron appealing to ?

This is not a decisive alternative Leader


SLASH AND BURN THE STATE AND BREAK UP THE BANKS, NOW !

The Four Horsemen heading for Labour

Seen in the small print in the Telegraph yesterday

Gordon Brown has been warned by his Chief Whip that when MP's expenses are published in July (as required by the High Court a year ago)there will be resignations and by-elections called.

No wonder the panic by Brown, Harman etc to vote on the issue next Thursday

The Four Horsemen are fast approaching for this Darien Government

England Neither Expects or Gets

On St Georges Day the Government spent £116 on a new flag, whilst in Scotland £1m is spent on national celebrations. In Walton Liverpool the Council pulled the flags down because they are 'unsafe'.

My hometown in the West Country had the largest 'George' flying I have seen since travelling up the M5, Teachers dressed up as Henry VIII and his six wives, and the kids had a ball dressing up.

Once this Darien Government has gone, England should once again celebrate on April 23rd as a public holiday

Send A Shirt To Gordon Campaign

Most creative to date

Sent earlier today with LPUK Card and note:

'DEAR LEADER'

HERE IS THE SHIRT FROM MY BACK AS REQUESTED IN YOUR RECENT BUDGET

I HAVE MODIFIED IT FOR USE IN TRAINING YOUR HENCHMEN


I scrawled on an old vest: "ACPO MURDER SQUAD / APPLY FORCE HERE" (Photo available on request)


ARRSE are also running with it

OH UPDATE

Can't beat this from the comments:

The Rt Hon James Gordon Brown MP
10 Downing Street
LONDON
SW1A 2AA


Dear Gordon
Budget 2009
Please forgive the over-familiarity in referring to you as ‘Gordon’ - I felt that this was slightly more acceptable than referring to you as ‘thieving cnut’.

You will be delighted to hear that I have already analysed in detail the minutiae of your Government’s Budget, delivered by your darling Alistair. All I can say is, ‘thank you’.
Thank you for shafting my generation, who will now be paying to you and your like every penny that we earn between now and our retirement, irrespective of how hard we work, how much we try to save, how many jobs we create, or how much wealth we generate for the country.

Thank you for pissing all over my children. They, too, will be unlikely to live long enough to see the repayment of the £1.4 trillion of debt that you have borrowed. Borrowing money is a funny thing. You borrow, you spend, and you pay interest on what you borrowed. And you then pay the money back. Yes, pay it back. It doesn’t come free, for ever, no strings; and you can’t just print more and more and more. You (or more correctly, the generations which follow) must eventually pay it back. You prick.

Thank you for continuing to pay huge swathes of my money to work-shy slobs. By that I do not, of course, mean those that sit on their fat arses watching Cash in the Attic day after day. No, the real ‘work-shy slobs’ that you waste my money on are the armies of public sector layabouts that have never done a real day’s work in their lives. But moan like nothing else about how they are over-worked, under-paid, and under-valued. Well of course they are under-valued; it’s because they do bugger all work in the first place. Sitting about doing hee haw, just waiting on their fat, guaranteed, taxpayer-funded, pension at 52. And did your darling Alistair do anything about it? Bollocks he did.

Thank you for bankrupting our once-great country. See when you need to give the IMF a call, just let me know. I’ll drive over to your grace-and-favour gaff in Downing Street (which I pay for) in my car, which I finance out of the pennies left after I pay you fortunes in income tax and national insurance - a car for which I pay you VAT, road tax, insurance premium tax, fuel tax (and probably a rubber and paint tax if you thought you could get away with it) – and drive you to the IMF myself. I have in the boot a long piece of rope, a bag of cement, and some rather tasty sweeties. Don’t be afraid.

You know, Gordon, we have a lot in common. You are Scottish, so am I; you are a member of the Kirk, so am I; you are a Bluenose (despite your misguided attempts to hide it), so am I. Where perhaps we differ is that you are a podgy, baggy-eyed, lying, immoral, closet homosexual - thankfully I can only lay claim to the podginess. I trust that your convenient marriage to Sarah does not interfere with your previously frequent jaunts to the leather bars of Amsterdam.

I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I am enclosing my shirt. That’s right – the shirt off my back. You might as well have it now as you are going to get it, come hell or high water, anyway. I do hope it fits and is not too whiffy. Not that an arrogant, ignorant, incompetent runt like you would care.
Peace and love, you turd.

Che to get the chop in Poland

Here the image is worn by 'hip, cool, slightly trendy lefties' who have never bothered to read up on the murderous side of Che and the Socialists. Well in Poland they have.

You could never be accused of being hip and groovy wearing a t shirt with Himmler on it.

Noooooooooooooooo.........................!

After Westminster the Farce yesterday, its JADE THE MUSICAL FFS


Please make it stop Please Make it Stop Please make it stop

Send Gordon your Shirt campaign

Forty seven emails received at 1984@lpuk.org by 9am this morning confirming despatch of old shirts to Gordon yesterday. You can either sit there and whinge or protest

DO IT. TELL THEM WHAT YOU THINK FOR A CHANGE

On the cards.

The hand dealt yesterday by Spooky McFraudulent, renowned Scottish psychic, psycho and Buckfast supplier to the ex-wealthy. He's never wrong.

There wasn't much to laugh at in the latest bodge-it budget but I hope two of the cards above will bring a hint of a smile to a few faces. I haven't yet grafted Big Ben onto the middle one. Maybe we should make a set, like the Americans did in Iraq. One for each party.

Would there be a market for them, I wonder? If so, who do you recommend should adorn the Hanged Mandy?




(Oh. Did I inadvertantly drop a hint there?)

Can we help?

Hi OH,

I don't know if you remember me from the old days of JSG and the Today boards, but I'm SWL - Alan Wallace.

I'm basically here begging for some help. I've become so pissed off with politics and politicians that I've decided to stand as an independent for the Euro elections with Jury Team. My basic position is I'm an ordinary working bloke and I'm going to embarass them by doing what they should be doing. As a salesman for the last 6 years, I've had to keep a daily record of where I've been, who I've met and what I've done. MPs should do the same. I plan (if elected - ha!) to publish a monthly schedule in advance online showing what meetings I'm due to attend and with who. Members of the public will be able to post questions for me to ask on their behalf. For example, if I'm meeting a power company guy, people can post "Ask him about this" or "Find out about that". This does two things. Firstly, everybody gets the chance to ask questions of these bastards and secondly, if I don't come back and say what happened at the meeting, the whole world will see I'm a lazy git.

I need help though. Position on the candidate list is by public text vote. I'm 2nd (by 2 votes) at the moment, but to have any chance under PR I need to be first. My main rivals are a taxi driver and two tree huggers. I've been out doorstepping, contacting friends, flooding the message boards, but I need every vote I can get.

Can you help in any way?

http://www.juryteam.org/candidate-profile.php?id=10537

Text alawal01 to 86837

Over to our readers..........

(From his CV)

It's time to have a government of people, not a people governed.

I'm AGAINST further expansion of the EU.

I'm AGAINST more powers being usurped from national governments by the EU.

I STRONGLY SUPPORT referendums in every country on the Lisbon Treaty.

I am AGAINST a European Army

I STRONGLY SUPPORT proposals to limit immigration into Europe and would actively campaign to see that other countries honoured their obligations instead of turning a blind eye to immigrants being trafficked to the UK.

Like most people I have been sickened and disgusted by the antics of politicians and parties over the years. People like Balls & Milliband are professional toadies who have never done a day's work in their lives. And there are far too many of their type. People who go to university then get a job as a researcher before being parachuted into a safe seat or manipulating women-only lists or playing the race card. I've worked for all but two weeks in the 26 years since I left school. I've served in the Forces and done almost every type of work imaginable. I'm not looking to get on the gravy train either. Every month a full list of my expenses will be listed and accounted for on the internet. Everything from a cup of coffee to plane fares.

Nightjack wins Orwell Prize

(The police have since closed down his blog)

Nightjacks Guide for Decent Folk

A joke from Clement RIP

Dance of the Comedian

Hat tip to Crown blogspot

Update on Jacqui Smith is a cunt campaign

Many thanks to all of you who told Jacqui Smith that she is a cunt via your blogs.

Just to let you know that the media company that measures "public opinion" on blogs and reports back to Downing Street now knows as well.

Well done

Send Gordon your shirt Campaign

Got an old shirt?

Send it directly to:

Gordon Brown
10, Downing Street
London
SW1A 2AA.

Saves him ripping it off your fucking back.

UPDATE: The Libertarian Party are going to run this as a campaign . Wouldn't it be great if Downing Street received a few thousand shirts off peoples backs in the post this week?

Do it. Find an old shirt, stuff it in an envelope and spend a £1 sending it to the man who is costing your grandchildren thousands.

SPREAD THE WORD. POST EVERYWHERE YOU CAN. SHOW HIM WHAT THE BLOGOSPHERE CAN DO.

FACEBOOK GROUP

Budget or bludgeon?

Britain's ultimate destination. The Jobbie Centre.

(Picture flushed out here.)

Tomorrow, Socialist Equality will make us all a little poorer. The Chancer is bound to put up the price of tobacco and booze. They always do. Petrol, too, so better get out and fill up if you fancy driving around anywhere.

He's going to offer those with nine-year-old and older cars a fistful of rapidly-depreciating money to scrap the banger and buy a shiny new one. The trouble is, two grand doesn't buy much of a new car and if you drive an ancient rustbucket, chances are you don't have the rest of the money available to make up the difference. If you did, you wouldn't be driving a nine-year-old car. So this is worthless.

He's going to announce help for those with massive mortgages who have lost their jobs. Good idea, but in order to qualify, you have to have a regular income. So if you've lost your job you don't qualify. So this is worthless.

Wads of cash will be used to insulate homes. Council homes only, naturally. Can't have any of us filthy non-dependent people saving on our bills. The reasoning is simple. Many of those in council homes don't pay their electricity and gas bills. So the Chancer is saving his money, not ours. Well, it was ours, now it's 'tax' and he wants to make savings. He doesn't want the rest of us making savings because if we use less gas and electricity, we pay less tax on it. He wants more tax from us but he wants his army of dependents to stop spending it. So this is worthless.

Oh, and he's going to build loads more little hutches to store his dependent pets in. Using magic money he'll pull from his hat with a cheery 'Ta-daa'. Well he has to store his horde of imported voters somewhere.

Got a pension? Not any more. He's raiding those again. Saving up for retirement will be pointless within 24 hours.

Good news? There isn't any. Except that this will, hopefully, be the last Labour budget we'll see for a very long time. I really hope they don't get another chance before they go.

I wonder what he'll do when the last taxpayer has chucked in work and marched into the Jobbie Centre to demand their share? Perhaps he'll tax MP's expenses, which the Gorgon intends to sneakily increase by clamping down on them.

He'll have to. Nobody else has any money left.

Top 5 Albums

Fuck this. Every bastard on the web is doing it.


1. Remain in Light - Talking Heads
2. Computerwelt - Kraftwerk
3. Heroes - David Bowie
4. Never Mind the Bollocks - Sex Pistols
5. Seal IV - Seal

Listen to these and die with a smile on your face.

The Plinth

Click to enlarge

Hooray! Finally, applications are being taken for "the plinth" in Trafalgar Square. You can apply to stand on the plinth for an hour and do whatver you want. Apparently it's art.

So let's look at that graphic above

From left to right

1. Gay

2. Big Issue seller

3. Impatient uppity Afro woman

4. Fat handicapped poof

5. Downs syndrome woman

6. Special needs man

7. Single mother

8. Spastic in a chariot

9. Normal Woman

10. Albanian Pimp & his 14 year old sex slave

11. Transgender in shorts

12. Dracula's Bride

13. Stroppy rug muncher

14. The only gay in the village

15. Hazel Blears on a milk crate

Give me strength...

The Bastards now want an Attendance Allowance for turning up to work !

Just watch this gurning bollocks, not thought through, no consultation, a panic measure which is drawing attention away from the disaster that is going to be the budget.Plus the fact the brown stuff is going to hit the revolving object when MP's are forced to publish their expenses in July.

First MEP ends up in Court for defrauding the Taxpayer- They are going to need a bigger Court in August.

90% of politicians give the other 10% a bad name- Henry Kissinger

A Scam Within A Mirage Within A Mirage Of A Scam

All of a sudden in Obamaland, the chosen one has turned all the Banks into profitable institutions ! Of Course its all bollocks, the bastards are fiddling the books like nobodies business.

“Although perfectly legal, this move is also perfectly delusional, because some day soon these assets will be written down to their fair value, and it won’t be pretty,” he said.

Give it five minutes and they will be pulling the same con trick here.

They never learn, some of these bankers should be authors the amount of fiction they are writing.

Quick – Blears at it too……..

If you want to know what's being discussed in Downing Street these days, all you need is a press pass and a telephoto lens.

The Communities Secretary Hazel Blears inadvertently leaked Gordon Brown's proposals to scrap MPs' second home allowances when she left Cabinet clutching a copy in full view of photographers.

In May last year, she hit the headlines when she was snapped leaving Downing Street holding an email print-out on how Prime Minister might take part in an Apprentice-style TV programme, to be called Junior PM.

The same day, the then housing minister Caroline Flint walked past photographers carrying a see-through file as she arrived to brief the Cabinet on problems in the housing market.

Ms Blears was not the only Cabinet member forced to apologise for a security breach. Andy Burnham, the Culture Secretary, issued an unreserved apology after leaving confidential documents on a train.

How much longer do you think the photographer’s will be able to work in Downing Street?

Gazing into my crystal ball, I see a ban on cameras within two miles of Downing Street on the horizon……..

ام شما چيست؟ !صبح بخير (Free House and Money! Forever!)

It seems the Mayor of Calais has had enough of 2000 grinning Afghanis shitting in the parks and waiting for the free ride to the land of free milk and honey

"The asylum seeker* is given accommodation and receives £31 to £40 a week according to their case, when the annual salary of the average Eritrean is around $200 (£136)."

So. Let's see. Sit under a tree all day cuddling an AK47, get £136 a year. Sit under a British tree selling big issue all day, get £2080 plus a free house, free education, free healthcare.

No wonder the whole of the third world is headed our way.

Stop the welfare money and you'll stop the rush to be paid a fortune for sitting under a fucking tree all day, doing fuck all. Forever.

* translated from the French for "money grabbing freeloading hairy arsed bastard"

Young Pioneers

It seems everyone wants to "engage" with youth these days. From Labour "getting on down" with da kids, to the LibDems making crap rap videos on Youtube, just gotta get the kids when they are fresh and pliable. Mould them to your views and your ethics while you can.

So:

Cadets can perform tasks such as crime prevention initiatives, message/leaflet delivery, test purchase operations to combat underage sales of alcohol, fireworks and knives and involvement in non-confrontational local events

Hooray! Our very own mini Met! 14 year olds making sure your bin is put out on the right day, keeping 'em peeled in case your dog shits where it shouldn't or you are not behaving in an anti social way.

I give you the Metropolitan Police Cadet Service. Nothing Political about them at all, move along now...

The gender breakdown of cadets is 53% male to 47% female. Of the total
number of cadets 36% are from Black and Minority Ethnic backgrounds.

To provide inclusion and diversion activities to allow for referrals from Youth offending Teams (YOT) and others organisations to reduce the numbers of young people entering the criminal justice system

So, reading between the lines, the Police take criminal 14 year olds and give them some good old fashioned political "re-education", a smart uniform and all the equipment necessary to spy and grass on the rest of us just going about our daily lives.

Law enforcement children. Complete with criminal records, uniforms and a political agenda.


Just what we need to keep the streets safe for innocent Newspaper vendors to go about their legal business without being killed, eh?

UPDATE: Following this theme, I thought I'd have a look at the identifying features of a "Police State" based on the hard evidence of seven real life Police States that have (obviously) failed and are therefore open to analysis. They are Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, Franco’s Spain, Salazar’s Portugal, Papadopoulos’s Greece, Pinochet’s Chile, and Suharto’s Indonesia

So let's look at 14 things a Police State WILL embrace

1. Powerful and continuing expressions of nationalism. From the prominent displays of flags and bunting to the ubiquitous lapel pins, the fervor to show patriotic nationalism, both on the part of the regime itself and of citizens caught up in its frenzy, was always obvious. Catchy slogans, pride in the military, and demands for unity were common themes in expressing this nationalism. It was usually coupled with a suspicion of things foreign that often bordered on xenophobia. - Cool Britannia anyone?

2. Disdain for the importance of human rights. The regimes themselves viewed human rights as of little value and a hindrance to realizing the objectives of the ruling elite. Through clever use of propaganda, the population was brought to accept these human rights abuses by marginalizing, even demonizing, those being targeted. When abuse was egregious, the tactic was to use secrecy, denial, and disinformation. - 42 days without trial anyone. No right to remain silent?

3. Identification of enemies/scapegoats as a unifying cause. The most significant common thread among these regimes was the use of scapegoating as a means to divert the people’s attention from other problems, to shift blame for failures, and to channel frustration in controlled directions. The methods of choice—relentless propaganda and disinformation—were usually effective. Often the regimes would incite “spontaneous” acts against the target scapegoats, usually communists, socialists, liberals, Jews, ethnic and racial minorities, traditional national enemies, members of other religions, secularists, homosexuals, and “terrorists.” Active opponents of these regimes were inevitably labeled as terrorists and dealt with accordingly. - Muslims anyone?

4. The supremacy of the military/avid militarism. Ruling elites always identified closely with the military and the industrial infrastructure that supported it. A disproportionate share of national resources was allocated to the military, even when domestic needs were acute. The military was seen as an expression of nationalism, and was used whenever possible to assert national goals, intimidate other nations, and increase the power and prestige of the ruling elite. - Iraq, Afghanisan anyone?

5. Rampant sexism. Beyond the simple fact that the political elite and the national culture were male-dominated, these regimes inevitably viewed women as second-class citizens. They were adamantly anti-abortion and also homophobic. These attitudes were usually codified in Draconian laws that enjoyed strong support by the orthodox religion of the country, thus lending the regime cover for its abuses. - Women bishops anyone?

6. A controlled mass media. Under some of the regimes, the mass media were under strict direct control and could be relied upon never to stray from the party line. Other regimes exercised more subtle power to ensure media orthodoxy. Methods included the control of licensing and access to resources, economic pressure, appeals to patriotism, and implied threats. The leaders of the mass media were often politically compatible with the power elite. The result was usually success in keeping the general public unaware of the regimes’ excesses. - BBC anyone?

7. Obsession with national security. Inevitably, a national security apparatus was under direct control of the ruling elite. It was usually an instrument of oppression, operating in secret and beyond any constraints. Its actions were justified under the rubric of protecting “national security,” and questioning its activities was portrayed as unpatriotic or even treasonous. - MI5, arresting opposition MP's for "leaks" anyone?

8. Religion and ruling elite tied together. Unlike communist regimes, the fascist and protofascist regimes were never proclaimed as godless by their opponents. In fact, most of the regimes attached themselves to the predominant religion of the country and chose to portray themselves as militant defenders of that religion. The fact that the ruling elite’s behavior was incompatible with the precepts of the religion was generally swept under the rug. Propaganda kept up the illusion that the ruling elites were defenders of the faith and opponents of the “godless.” A perception was manufactured that opposing the power elite was tantamount to an attack on religion. - 26 Unlected Bishops making laws in the House of Lords anyone?

9. Power of corporations protected. Although the personal life of ordinary citizens was under strict control, the ability of large corporations to operate in relative freedom was not compromised. The ruling elite saw the corporate structure as a way to not only ensure military production (in developed states), but also as an additional means of social control. Members of the economic elite were often pampered by the political elite to ensure a continued mutuality of interests, especially in the repression of “have-not” citizens. - Banks propped up with billions of our money anyone?

10. Power of labor suppressed or eliminated. Since organized labor was seen as the one power center that could challenge the political hegemony of the ruling elite and its corporate allies, it was inevitably crushed or made powerless. The poor formed an underclass, viewed with suspicion or outright contempt. Under some regimes, being poor was considered akin to a vice. - Visit any UK town for proof of the "underclass"

11. Disdain and suppression of intellectuals and the arts. Intellectuals and the inherent freedom of ideas and expression associated with them were anathema to these regimes. Intellectual and academic freedom were considered subversive to national security and the patriotic ideal. Universities were tightly controlled; politically unreliable faculty harassed or eliminated. Unorthodox ideas or expressions of dissent were strongly attacked, silenced, or crushed. To these regimes, art and literature should serve the national interest or they had no right to exist. - Political Officers in Primary Schools? Oxbridge entrance?

12. Obsession with crime and punishment. Most of these regimes maintained Draconian systems of criminal justice with huge prison populations. The police were often glorified and had almost unchecked power, leading to rampant abuse. “Normal” and political crime were often merged into trumped-up criminal charges and sometimes used against political opponents of the regime. Fear, and hatred, of criminals or “traitors” was often promoted among the population as an excuse for more police power. - Largest prison population in Europe anyone? 3,000 new criminal offences under New Labour anyone?

13. Rampant cronyism and corruption. Those in business circles and close to the power elite often used their position to enrich themselves. This corruption worked both ways; the power elite would receive financial gifts and property from the economic elite, who in turn would gain the benefit of government favoritism. Members of the power elite were in a position to obtain vast wealth from other sources as well: for example, by stealing national resources. With the national security apparatus under control and the media muzzled, this corruption was largely unconstrained and not well understood by the general population. - I give you New Labour, on a silver tea tray

14. Fraudulent elections. Elections in the form of plebiscites or public opinion polls were usually bogus. When actual elections with candidates were held, they would usually be perverted by the power elite to get the desired result. Common methods included maintaining control of the election machinery, intimidating and disenfranchising opposition voters, destroying or disallowing legal votes, and, as a last resort, turning to a judiciary beholden to the power elite. - Postal Vote fraud anyone?

Not quite there yet, but far too close for comfort.

Who has got the right idea on Policing then Jacqui

ACPO have realeased a statement saying that despite one death, and scores of injuries and complaints the G20 was propotionate. ACPO by the way is a private limited company with no standing in Law.




Former Police Chiefs however are writing to the Chief Inspector of Constabulary to say that the Riot Police are treating the Public as the enemy and a threat.

Labour Press Office Tries To Keep Guido Off the BBC

Just before going on air today on the BBC’s Daily Politics, Guido was told that the show had received a faxed complaint about him appearing on the show (clip here). The complaint came from the Labour Party.

It isn't going to stop until we make it stop.

Running Scared

The NuLiebore Party are running scared, not just of the resurgent wishy-washy Tory Party but of the rise of the BNP.

Hence that stupid Phil "Custard Pie" Woolas suggesting he'd prefer people voted Tory if they don't vote Labour.

They have brought it upon themselves by selling out the ordinary British working class, who are natural Labour supporters but are now alienated and disgusted with the shambles this socialist bunch of wankers have inflicted on this country.

The Penguin

State of the Nation

Ballot Boxes are interfered with

Voting registers go missing

The Police can kill innocent people and get away with it

You can be put in prison for 42 days on pure suspicion

You can be put in prison indefinitely on the word of a politician

The State can torture people

Your children are monitored at School by Political Officers

Their behaviour is logged on a State database for their entire lives

Your innocent fingerprints, iris scans and biometrics are held by the State

You do not have the right to remain silent

You are watched on 4 million CCTV cameras

You may not photograph the Police

The media is controlled by the State

You do not have the right to protest peacefully

Curfews exist for entire communities

Your travel movements are logged and monitored

Who you vote for is logged and monitored

Your shopping habits are studied and logged by the State

Your emails and telephone conversations are recorded by the State

Your passport can be withdrawn at the whim of the State

Government agencies can use lie detector tests on you.

Name the country.

More clues if required

The Womens Own Guide Having Your Home Searched By The Police

Iain Dale has printed Damien Green's wife's top ten tips what to do if your house is seached by the Police.

WTF has this country come to that this is now treated as something normal, I accept that this is done in a self deprecating post modern manner, but what the Hell is going on here.

Is nobody angry in the Tory Party that an innocent man and his family have been treated like this ? Is the milksop Cameron just so conditioned that this is 'normal' in politics now ?

The next worst thing about having a corrupt lying unelected Prime Minister, is to have a useless, weak Leader of the Opposition, who does not know how to oppose.

The State As A Parent ?

As I am typing this up I am listening to two members of the 'caring' professions saying on R4 we need children being taken into care as the first option not the last, a change of 'culture' they call it. Thirty Three per cent of the population apparently agree with them. These must be the same morons still proposing to vote Labour at the next election.

Bringing up kids is tough and expensive, made even more difficult by a 'caring' State
taking in Tax ,direct and indirect, monies that could be used to create safe and secure families not under constant financial pressure.

When you have a situation that more under 25's are having children than getting married, they are doing this because of a benefits system that encourages feckless behaviour.

As for the State as a parent, I can think of nothing more sickening. Indoctrination and slavery of the mind from birth.